


Unlimited Talk and Text

by sabinelagrande



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Comeplay, Dirty Talk, Dom Phil Coulson, Dom/sub, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Sexting, Sexual Fantasy, Spanking, Sub Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 13:00:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Craigslist: causing more problems than it solves since 1996.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unlimited Talk and Text

This week sucked.

There wasn't anything in particular that sucked, no major crises or earth-shattering events. It was just a slow slog through a lot of overdue work that other people had swept under the rug; nobody would have found it at all if they hadn't made new hires who started realizing how much shit was wrong.

Phil kind of wished they hadn't.

The week was a string of long, mind-numbing days, but now it's Friday. It's actually only seven PM, but Phil is already mostly drunk, a happy, peaceful kind of drunk that has him sprawled out over the uncomfortable futon that dominates the half-decorated living room of his new apartment.

While he's considering the merits of turning on the TV and watching something brainless, his text message alert dings. Phil looks at his phone suspiciously. He's been getting random texts all week; appropriately enough, they concern his ugly futon. He already said fuck it and took down the ill-advised ad he put up looking for a new couch, but people are still texting him here and there. Whatever. He's in too good of a mood right this second to be particularly upset.

Phil opens his messages; unsurprisingly, the new one is from an unfamiliar number.

_Hey, was wondering if you were still up for that thing?_

Kind of a weird way to put it, but okay. He can deal with one more couch query.

**Sure, still looking**

_I got a pic if you want it_

**Go ahead**

It's a moment before the next message arrives, but the picture that comes in is not of a couch.

In point of fact, it's a picture of somebody's dick.

Phil is stunned for a second, unsure what exactly to say. He's gotten unsolicited dick pictures before- he does have an internet connection- but getting them texted to him by a complete stranger is another matter.

**That is not what I was expecting**

_Fuck, sorry_

Phil is only more confused; who apologizes for digitally flashing people?

**It's fine**

And he should really let it go at that, just block the number and move on with his life. Except that he's tipsy and relaxed and it's been a while and, unlike a lot of unsolicited dick pictures, it looks tempting. Cut, thick, and, while a stranger's hand is not exactly the most reliable unit of measurement, long enough.

He can't believe what he's typing, but fuck it. He hits send before he can chicken out.

**Pretty nice, actually**

Phil finds himself holding his breath while he waits for the next message, unsure whether he's the creeper or the creeped at this point.

_I was hoping you'd think so ;)_

He sighs in relief, though he's really not sure when this became a situation where he cared about this person's opinion.

_So what are you into?_

**Mystery novels, card collecting**

_Ha ha_  
 _Top or bottom?_

Phil hesitates; he tries to be considerate, generally speaking, because he actually is versatile. But fuck it. He _does_ have a favorite, and if somebody's randomly going to send him dick, they can take what they get.

**Top**

_I was REALLY hoping you'd say that_  
 _Because I need to get fucked so bad_

Phil's eyebrows go up.

**I definitely like that idea**

_So what else are you into? For real this time_

Phil really isn't sure how to answer that question until the next message comes.

_Kinky stuff?_

He doesn't know what it says about this guy, that he thinks it's a yes or no question.

**Depends on what you mean by kinky**

_Y'know, kinky stuff_  
 _Hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk, that kinda stuff_

Phil's mouth goes dry.

**Definitely**

He frowns.

**Aren't we talking dirty right now?**

_Not yet_  
 _I just didn't wanna bust out with something and freak you out_

**I'm hard to freak out**

That is maybe a huge understatement, but Phil decides they can just cross that bridge when they get there.

_So if I wanted you to spank my ass til it was red and then fuck me…?_

**I don't know why anybody would freak out over that. Sounds like a great night**

Phil pauses.

**Or part of one**

_Just part?_

**If we had all night, seems like a shame to stop there**

_We're getting a little ahead of ourselves, tell me where you'd start_

Okay, now they're definitely talking dirty. This is the dirty talking portion of the program, and Phil doesn't have a problem with that at all.

**Well, first I want you naked, then I'd make you lay across my lap**

_Not to brag, but I have a great ass_

Phil snorts.

**That's good to hear, because I want to run my hands all over it**

The next reply comes in quick.

_And then spank me?_

We have a thing here.

**Don't try to rush me**  
 **You'll only make me want to do it slower**

_That's not necessarily a bad thing_

Phil is intrigued. That's intriguing. It's also a personal favorite, slow teasing, especially when it leads to begging. He could _definitely_ stand to be begged.

**First I'd slick up my fingers**

_I like where this is going_

**Then I'd slowly work you open, make sure you were ready for me**

_I'm so ready_

Phil considers his next move. It's not that he's gotten to the part where it gets hard to come up with material; he's just not sure how this is gonna go over.

**Then I'd slide a plug inside you, make sure you were all filled up**

_That sounds amazing_

**It will be**

He could kick himself for that; that's a sentence that changes this whole thing, makes it from a maybe into a promise. Right now, he can deal with that, but he has no way of knowing how the other guy is going to take it.

_I'm sure it will_

Phil does the relief-sigh thing again. Still weird.

_So what now? I'm all laid out for you, ready for whatever you want_

He lets himself sink a little deeper into the mattress, getting comfortable. He switches his phone to his left hand; he's still not great at typing one-handed, but it's a necessity at this point. He reaches down with his free hand, stroking himself through his pants as he considers his next move.

**Well, you said you wanted to get spanked, didn't you**

_Yes, sir_

That's new, and Phil likes it.

**Maybe if you ask me nicely**

_Please_  
 _Please, sir_  
 _Spank me, please_

**You're easy, aren't you?**

Phil doesn't realize until after he's sent it that it's kind of an accusatory thing to say. As far as he's concerned, in this particular situation, it's a very good thing. 

_If that's what it takes_

He doesn't know what that means, but alright. 

**It'll do**

He hesitates, trying to think of a way to gauge the situation. 

**How hard can you take it?**

_Hard as you can give it to me_

That may not actually be true, because Phil has been known to wear people out. Here in this thing they have going on, it's perfectly fine to imagine just opening up on him, smacking him until Phil is completely satisfied. 

Phil has no idea if he could actually take that, but if this goes past a hypothetical, he is more than happy to find out.

**Then that's how you're gonna get it**  
 **I'm gonna spank you until your ass is red and hot**

_Please do, I want it so bad_

**And every time I hit you, you'll feel the plug in you**

Phil rests his phone on his chest, hurriedly opening his fly before he starts typing again. There's only so much he can take.

**But you're not going to come, not until I say you can**

_That's just mean_

It's completely mean, but that's what makes it fun.

**If you come, I'm not going to fuck you. Your call**

_I'll be good and take it_

That message comes in fast, fast enough that it gives Phil a rush. Phil hasn't had someone at his mercy in a long time, long enough that he's had time to crave it.

**I'm sure you will, you'll take everything I give you**

_Can I please have your cock? I want it so bad, sir_

**Not until I'm finished with you**

This is an entirely empty threat, at this point. Phil already has his cock in his hand; he's trying to go slowly, but it's not really working. Probably time to stop fucking around. 

**But when I am, I'll make you bend over the bed for me**

_I can't wait to do it for you_  
 _I need to get fucked so bad, I'll just be waiting there, begging for you to do it_

Phil can see it in his head; he doesn't actually have any idea what this guy looks like, other than his cock, but it doesn't take much imagination to picture a nice, tight ass to push into. It's not all that complicated, really.

He's almost too distracted, too busy thrusting up into his fist to type, but he can't let this guy hang. It's not any good if there's nobody on the other side; what's the good of a fantasy about controlling someone without someone to control? 

**You won't have to wait long, because after I take the plug out, I'm gonna hold you open and go for it, just shove my cock inside of you, all the way inside, until I'm so deep inside you that you can't st**  
 **and it**

Maybe he's rambling. Doubtful that the other guy cares.

_Fuck yes_  
 _God, fuck me, I want you to fuck me so hard_

**I'm gonna**

Phil didn't mean to say that. 

_Yeah?_

Fuck it. This stopped being theoretical ten minutes ago.

**Oh yeah. I'm gonna fuck you until you can't remember your own name, only how good it feels with me inside you**

_Christ, I want it so bad, I need you to fuck me so much_  
 _I'm so close_

Phil moves his hand faster, trying to keep up. It's fucking hard to multitask like this; the thrill of saying all this is almost as good as the feel of actual stimulation. 

It's gonna be much easier to do this when he doesn't have to type about it. 

**Is that what you want? You wanna come?**

_Fuck, please, I want it so much, please let me_

This is the part that really gets him, the part that turns him on like fucking crazy. Now he's just got the guy dangling, waiting for permission, holding back only because Phil is forcing him to.

**Are you gonna come with my cock all the way up your ass? I wanna feel it when you come for me**

_Please, anything you want, just let me come_

Phil waits for a long moment, savoring it. 

**Come for me**

There's a long pause, and Phil pictures it, the guy coming on himself alone in his bed or on his couch or in his office bathroom, gasping, shouting; maybe he's even got his fingers inside himself, thrusting them in over and over while he comes thinking about Phil's cock.

_Oh fuck, I came so hard I think I broke something_  
 _Did you?_

**Not yet**

Phil feels a little weird admitting it, like he's not really holding up his end somehow. 

_Good, because I want you to come all over me_

Apparently it's not a problem. 

_Just paint me with it_  
 _I'll let you do it on my face if you want, just hold still and let you jerk off on me_

Phil sees that the guy is still sending messages, but he drops the phone, far too distracted by that image; he still hasn't seen the guy's face, but he already wants to cover it with come, shoot across his lips, his tongue, his cheeks, every-fucking-where. Phil wants to run his cock through it and feed it to him, watch him lick it off, make sure he gets every drop.

Phil moans when he comes, shutting his eyes; he didn't know he could come this hard from just words, just knowing there was another person who wanted him. 

He's certainly glad he found out. 

He finally finds his phone, typing shakily.

**Jesus christ**

_You good?_

Phil snorts. There's an understatement. 

**Oh yeah.**

_That was pretty fucking hot_

**I completely agree**

He's not sure where it goes from here, but before he can figure out what to say, there's another message. 

_So are we still on for tomorrow?_

Phil frowns. 

**What?**

_Y'know, we were gonna hang out_

Phil has a sudden, horrible suspicion that things are about to go terribly wrong. 

**Who is this?**

_Cute._  
 _It's Clint, who else would it be?_

Phil sits up so fast that his head spins.

**Barton???**

_Yeah_  
 _How do you know my last name?_  
 _This is Mike, right?_

Phil does not want to respond. 

**This is Phil**  
 **Coulson**  
 **I gave you my number at work, remember?**

The next messages come in rapid-fire.

_Holy shit_  
 _I'm so fucking sorry_  
 _Shit, sorry_  
 _Fuck_  
 _I had two numbers written down and I fucking flipped them_

There's a pause. 

_Do you just randomly sext with anybody who sends you their dick??_

There is absolutely no good way to explain any of this.

**It's a long story, I wasn't expecting your dick**

_Uh, ok_  
 _I'm really sorry, this will NEVER happen again_

Phil is supposed to apologize here; they're supposed to ignore each other indefinitely and act like this never happened.

He types what he's thinking instead. He figures he's fucked anyway.

**Wasn't that bad, was it?**

_???_

**Seemed like it was worth repeating to me**

Clint doesn't respond immediately, and Phil is maybe freaking out now.

**Unless I'm not your type**

_I am completely okay with repeating it_  
 _That would be great_

Phil sighs in relief. He's more okay with relief-sighing now. He deserves it.

**You wanna get a drink sometime?**

_I don't drink_  
 _But we can have dinner and fuck_

**That sounds like a great plan**

Phil wonders how far his luck will actually hold. No reason to stop pushing it now, right? 

**Are you free tomorrow?**

_Looks like I am_

Phil feels like a little bit of an idiot the way he's grinning; that's not a good enough reason to stop.

**I'll text you in the morning**

_You better_  
 _Not very fair I didn't get any pics_

Phil rolls his eyes.

**You can see it in person soon enough**

_That's what I like to hear ;)_

**G'night, talk to you tomorrow**

_Night, sir_

He has this feeling Clint is going to be a handful. He is so okay with getting a couple handfuls of Clint, and he has a very clear idea of when he's going to start.

Phil lays back down, locking his phone and letting it fall onto his chest. He considers another beer, food, or both; this week sucked, and he still really needs some R&R.

Lucky for him, tonight has already been _awesome._


End file.
